powerless.

2006-07-07

Hey you, the one outside, are you ever gonna get in, get in
Hey you, the one that don't fit in, how ya, how ya gonna get in.

my exams are over, and yet i am inexplicably and irrepressibly sad and empty.

m: joyful is too hard a thing too achieve and besides, its too long run and you're to young to judge it just yet
m: do you think you're cynical?

do i think i'm cynical? i don't know. i've had 2 persons ask me that in one night. do i seem cynical to you? i think i shouldn't wallow in my own thoughts cos that's the only time when i start to feel down. like now.

i can't help but feel that everything is screwed up in my life sometimes. and then i have to take a look around absorb my air-conditioned, well-furnished, comfortable surroundings and then i have to feel ashamed for even having the thought. because i am fortunate and loved. and the worst part comes here - that i resent that. that i want to have a reason to be angry. maybe i will be a better person with more trials. or maybe it'll just show everyone what kind of person i really and make everyone want to fumigate themselves the minute they come in contact with me. i don't even know what 'kind of person i am'.

i was going to say i cut my hair, but i figured out an interesting way to say it.
Jeannette: I cut my hair! I am pretty!
Darryl: Yup, you're pretty. Pretty ugly.

man, sometimes i wonder who needs enemies when you've got friends like that. i guess he adds that he's kidding. may you live in interesting times indeed.