i need some fine wine and you, you need to be nicer.

2006-04-25

it's 1:18 AM on a tuesday morning and in approximately 6 and a half hours i'll be having my chem lecture. i've just printed out my Chemical Thermody (is it even called that?) notes and my chem prac worksheet and i'm sitting here with my eyes half closed as i type this.

i don't need some fine wine, i just need to be nicer. everytime someone tells me that i'm a nice person (it doesn't happen that often, don't worry), or something along those lines, i feel like a hypocrite. because i think somehow, no matter how altruistic i try to be, it'll eventually lead back to a fundamental reason for my actions that is centred around myself.

there are some people that i really respect and admire in this world for their selflessness and love. i sometimes wish that i could be like them, just as selfless and just as loving. then after that i wonder, what's my purpose for wanting to be like that? is it because i want other people to love me more? and i'm back at square one again.

it can't be the early tuesday mornings speaking, because it happens at other times too.

something that just struck me is how strange joetee can be. so in case he was telling the truth, hullo Mr Joseph Tee. give me a wave if you are.