we don't sell that brand anymore.

2006-03-18

sometimes i get really, really sad.

then my perspective always goes a bit warped. things which shouldn't matter start to be the only things on my mind, and the others that should, never ever come close to occurring to me.

at the moment, i can't tell why i'm studying. then i remember, it's because of council camp. it's because i can't afford to fail and let it be taken away. then i get another thought, and i wonder why do i even bother about council camp? why do i even bother about council? i think i have the answer somewhere, but at the moment, it's eluding me. and i think about why i bother trying to live life correct when there are people who don't and still get everything in the end. and why it's always a case of the rich get richer, and the poor get poorer. and nothing seems to be able to be done about it. why i always tell myself that there's alot more to appearances but i can't help judging others by that, the same way i can't help judging myself against the false [i know they should be] standards the world has set. and i wonder why i can't pass my gp. and why i can sometimes feel so alone even when i'm surrounded by so many people. and why some people set me thinking while some don't, and sometimes, i rather i don't.

the right answers are always so hard to find. especially when i'm integrating.