maxell.

2005-11-22

you know what i really need? i need someone who i can be exclusive to, and who can be exclusive ot me. i don't need a big group of people. i just need ONE person, who can almost always be there for me. is that so much to ask for?

i guess yes, since so many people never find that one person.

it's how i never get asked anyway. it's MY fault i know. but it's my fault, not in that i don't go, but it's that i joined council, and i can't go. and it's that i'm STUPID. and i need TUITION. and i can't just go out and play like some others who understand their bloody lessons perfectly do.

do you sincerely think that i enjoy going to school everyday? i DO bond with my council friends. i think it's cos we work and play together. and they understand why i can't just be free when i want to. and then there is this other thing called a responsibility. it's something that i can't throw down whenever i feel like it, because i've already accepted it and committed myself to it. and then there are those who cannot grasp the meaning of committment. don't get me wrong, i confess i don't get it so well myself. but i try to keep to it as best as i can.

am i angry? yes. but it'll fade. this will never get resolved. but it'll fade, and i won't bring it up to you. because i've mananged to let everything i need to let out here.