attention please.

2005-03-01

i guess it all boils down to what i had expected of myself. i wanted a 10. really really badly, not because of any standard anyone had pressed on me, but because of a standard i had expected of myself. it would have been so much easier to disappoint someone else other than myself. that would be easy to deal with. but i can't shut myself out, can i?

it's good. thirteen is pretty good i guess. many people can't even get into JC. and i really thank my God that i can make it, and even stay in NY, which was what i was planning. but it's hard to be happy when i expected to do better all along.

but as i said, i am over and above this now. no point harping over something that's over and done with and that i can have no effect, detrimental or otherwise, on.

thank you everyone. and i'll miss you 4 diligence, even though i could have done more for it. GERALDINE! call me or something.