you always wanted to fly.

2005-02-02

so i tell myself to go and study for the stupid binomial test tomorrow so mr kooi won't have the opportunity to tell us that he 'now knows the standard of [y]our class' and shake his head.

but i cannot. i want to say sorry if you felt that way. i want to know how you really feel, but you scare me. seriously. i know i can ask till i'm blue in the face but i will never really know. so i will content myself with maybe living a lie. i've been doing it for so long, i don't see why i can't keep it up.

it has to be me though. because it's not only you, it's him, and her, and almost everyone else i meet.

school is slowly killing me. i'm sure of it, it may be even worse than cancer. please don't hold it against me that i have time to update my diary when i tell you how school is sapping away all my life and energy and giving me no time to do my bloody homework. it'll definitely be alot easier after CNY, of course.